Author: Anna

An Orthodox Jewish mom and freelance writer enjoying a simple life with her family and chickens, somewhere in the north of Israel.

Why burning bridges isn’t a good idea

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Back in the day, when I was a starry-eyed young mom, I received an email from an equally young reader, a newlywed who wrote, “My husband landed an amazing position and I will never need to work again. Please give me suggestions on ways to fill my time until we have our first child.”

As far as I recall, I came up with various ideas for charity work, gardening, crafts, and housekeeping. Today, however, I would give that sweet lady – and my own daughters, when they reach the proper age -a completely different outlook.

I would say, Congratulations on your husband’s new position. I hope he will retain it throughout many years and provide the necessary financial stability for your family.

I also hope that your marriage remains healthy and happy, and that your spouse never makes you feel like ‘less than’ for not bringing in an income.

If you plan to stay home with your children, I applaud your choice. Children thrive when there’s a parent to be with them in their early years. Families thrive when one spouse has enough flexibility to keep the common ship sailing smoothly.

But no matter what, don’t put yourself in a situation where you’ve burned your bridges and locked yourself in. Keep something you can fall back on.

Whether it’s a flexible profession, a business you can upscale if necessary, or a degree that allows you to work from home, always have something to give you financial security in tough times.

This isn’t negativity or pessimism, any more than purchasing an insurance policy is. It’s just common sense.

We live in a hugely unpredictable world. Businesses fail. Wars rage. Global pandemics flare up. Economies flounder. People lose their health and earning capacity. And, sadly, sometimes marriages fail as well.

I have lived through this. I gave up on the ability to support myself, on the security of a husband’s good job and a house purchased outright. Then, when the job was lost and the house swallowed by a black financial abyss, I found myself in an isolated outpost, with no transportation, no stable internet access, and not even secure electricity or running water supply.

Eventually, I rallied and started fighting for financial independence (a process that’s still ongoing). But it was hard, and knowing that I put the torch to my own bridges didn’t make it easier.

You aren’t a less devoted wife and mother for having a plan B. Do what you must to protect yourself and your children. If you are lucky, you may never need it.

But if you do, you will be glad you prepared for every scenario.

Will switching to cash save us? Somehow, I doubt it

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As recent events have shown to all who still doubted it, government officials can seize private citizens’ money. They can do it quickly, unexpectedly, and for nearly any arbitrary reason. What is unthinkable today becomes acceptable tomorrow, or next week.

I have read messages on social media calling people to withdraw their savings, switch to cash, and invest in tangible assets like gold or real estate. While having some cash on hand is always a wise move, as is converting some money into hard assets, I doubt it will provide the common people with a real solution to universal corruption and ugly dictatorship.

First, if you have any substantial savings, withdrawing them all could be impractical. Second, a dictatorial government can limit the use of cash, as is already happening in Israel.

Third, paying cash for everything is hardly practical. I love how cash helps me limit spending at the grocery store, but when it comes to paying the utility bills, I do this online with my credit card rather than schlep to the local post office and stand in line with an envelope of cash.

I’m not sure I have an alternative solution. Like it or not, money is the cornerstone of our economy. For someone like me, who has fought tooth and nail for financial independence, money stands for security, comfort, capability, freedom, and so much more.

However, I am convinced that when the you-know-what hits the fan, money isn’t everything.

What if all our hard-earned savings disappear into a financial black hole tomorrow? What if money loses value, or even becomes temporarily unavailable? I am convinced that our survival will depend on our resilience, creativity, skill, and readiness to work as a community.

Bartering is not a universal remedy either, but it is an elegant solution that can bypass the money system in many cases. If you have skill, you can barter. If one person weeds another’s property in exchange for that other fixing their roof, and no money changes hands, it’s a small victory over a system based on dictatorship, surveillance, and control.

Above all, bartering is about human relationships. It is about mutual support. It is not so much about relying on “self” as trusting the small and local above the official and impersonal.

Call me an optimist, but I don’t anticipate total collapse. Call me a pessimist, but I don’t think we can avoid difficult times. Cherish your community. It is just as important to survival as a wad of cash and a hefty stockpile.

Super simple headbands

This season, I’m challenging myself to use up the yarn I have in my stash rather than keep drooling over delightful new yarn I’d love to order. So far, I’m pretty proud of myself. I’m fitting my stash into a compact storage space, I’m making useful things, and I’m being creative.

I’ve discovered headbands as a terrific way to use up half a skein of yarn (or less) when you don’t have enough for a hat. Headbands are cool accessories, work up quickly, and can function as earwarmers. They make great gifts or items for a craft booth when you need to make something quick.

My girls love their headbands and keep asking for more, although personally I’m ready to move on to more interesting stuff. These are literally simple rectangles, done in SC in the back loop, and sewed using the Simple Twist Headband method (look it up on YouTube).

For Freelancers: What Happens When You Set Boundaries

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For all who have wondered what cave I’ve been hiding in all this time, 2022 started off with a bang for me and I’m dealing with an avalanche of projects, not to mention sick kids and all the ensuing schedule disruptions. And, of course, whatever else happens, laundry hampers overflow, trash cans need emptying, and grocery shopping needs doing.

As I was doing my taxes for 2021, I passingly reflected on the importance of having boundaries as a freelancer/mom/household manager and all the many hats we wear.

I know many self-employed individuals struggle with self-discipline in a very straightforward way – it starts with “I’ll just check my email”, and three hours later you’re deep in a Twitter debate about animal conservation because there’s nobody to drag you to your desk and make you start working.

I battle a different affliction, commonly known as biting off more than you can chew. I apply to lots of different gigs and find it hard to scroll by when an interesting offer appears in one of my freelancer Facebook groups. However, I am pleased to say that I made progress in 2021.

In the early half of 2021, my income ledger showed entries from many different clients. I squinted at the chart a couple of weeks ago, barely recalling some names. Then I remembered. “Oh, that didn’t work out.” “This person wanted faster turnarounds than I could commit to.” “This one had unreasonable demands.”

In the second half of the year, I consolidated my efforts to a couple of steady clients – without losing income. Yet now I have more sanity, less frenzy, fewer emails to answer, and less juggling in my schedule. I also became far more confident in my communication: “I can do this and this by date X”; “I cannot commit to any day earlier than Thursday”; “I can promise X, but not Y.”

I used to be a huge people pleaser, which didn’t give me many opportunities to see how people react when you don’t give them what they want. In the past year, I saw how it goes: some walk away, leaving the ones you get along with. I believe it’s true in the personal as well as professional sense.

Today, I sleep better, read more paperbacks, take more walks, and have more time for my kids, all while being more productive.

I hope everyone has a nice, cozy January with a mug of hot cocoa and a stack of good books (except you in the Southern hemisphere – enjoy your summer!).

Hoping for a Better 2022

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You guys, I haven’t blogged properly in a while. Mostly because I’m sort of transfixed with horror, watching this enormous global train wreck of dealing with a mild-to-moderate risk virus.

In the past, I have protested against the dictatorship Israel seems to be sinking into. Now that other countries are jumping on the bandwagon, I actually see how the situation is flipping, and how Israel’s covid vaccine coercion, as despicable and unfair as it is, is actually – so far! – not as bad as what is now happening in European countries like Austria:

“Those refusing to be vaccinated are likely to face administrative fines, which can be converted into a prison sentence if the fine cannot be recovered.“

Prisons and concentration camps for the unvaccinated, folks. Someone please wake me from this nightmare.

Our government is now raising up a huge campaign of fear and panic in the face of the Omicron, which so far appears a milder, less virulent covid strain.

What conclusion would I expect in the face of the facts that Omicron (a) is far more resistant to the Pfizer vaccine, and (b) appears to be a less dangerous strain? “OK, it seems that the vaccine isn’t working so well now. No point pressuring people to get vaccinated.” I’d even throw in an apology for all the fear-mongering and unlawful pressure.

I would actually go as far as to say that the Omicron could be good news. If more people are likely to contract it without severe consequences, we’ll have more people with natural, lasting immunity compared to the flimsy partial protection the Pfizer jabs give.

But, alas, I have despaired of trying to put “government” and “logic” in the same sentence.

Luckily, the unruly and undisciplined Israelis are saying NO to another and another booster, finally understanding that this is likely to become a never-ending rollercoaster. Now millions have lost their “green pass” for refusal to line up and roll up their sleeves for yet another jab.

Guys, I honestly don’t know what we can expect in 2022. Luckily for myself, I work from home and don’t think much of entertainment venues like restaurants and shopping malls our government is trying to open to vaccinated-only in a dictatorial and illogical attempt to make as many people as possible get the (third, fourth, and so on) jab, sweeping aside serious and not-so-rare side effects.

I wish everyone good health and the utmost fortitude in 2022. Looks like we’re going to need it.

Mini Cable crochet winter beanie

Latest creation

If you don’t know what to crochet, a beanie is always a good idea. Hats are practical, work up quickly, are very forgiving of mistakes, and allow much room for creativity.

This hat is very similar to my Winter Sun crochet beanie – worked from the brim up – but done in the mini cable stitch with spaces of one back post double crochet. I used some old anonymous yarn from eBay, similar to this one – single ply in DK weight and 3 mm crochet hook.

I loved making it and the little recipient enjoys wearing it!

The art of affordable living

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I often think that the most helpful thing for staying financially afloat is not cutting a few dollars here and there – not clipping some coupons, or saving on electricity, or squeezing out the last bit of toothpaste – but what I call the art of affordable living; an attitude that helps countless people with moderate to low incomes live well and stay out of debt.

It’s genuinely preferring a nature walk to a shopping mall; homemade gifts to the latest order from Amazon; restored old furniture to an IKEA assembly; a quiet get-together on the beach with a few friends to a glitzy event. It’s the satisfaction of being able to step back and say, “I don’t really need that much.”

It has always amazed me, during our house moves, how well the family has coped with 90% of the clothes and utensils packed away for weeks. 10% of our belongings were quite enough to keep us dressed, fed, and entertained. There were moments, while I unpacked, when I wished I could just chuck some boxes away unopened (don’t worry, I never did that. I love my books, yarn, and fluffy pajamas too much).

At this time, I also feel that the habits of simplicity are serving me and my family amazingly well. Lockdowns, restrictions, green passes, and the rest of the paraphernalia the past two years have brought are a lot easier to take when your happiness doesn’t hinge on eating out, going to live shows, or staying in hotels.

I’ll just finish with a great quote from here:

“Living a simple life means there is no need to chase the extra buck. You don’t need the cash to buy the bigger living space to put all your stuff in that you would need more money to buy. Instead, you see that you can live on less and get rid of stuff to create more space.”